Post by gingerpaws on Aug 13, 2009 13:24:10 GMT -5
Abby spun around, twirled through the air. Her white dress flowed around her, the skirt catching in the breeze her body made. Tom smiled as he pulled her near again. Abby could only laugh, so caught in his happiness and her own. The songs kept coming, each a new beat that left Tom leading her around the dance floor in a new way each time. With each move he made her laugh, always trying to keep her smiling. And of course, on her happiest day, Abby wasn’t about to stop smiling.
Their song came on; The Chair by George Strait. Tom slowed down, taking Abby gently into his arms. She relaxed against him, feeling his warmth creep into her where their skin touched. She smiled against his chest, her face pressed against the black material at his collar. He sighed and lowered his head to rest his cheek against her brown hair. His arms were around her, gently guiding her to follow his slow steps. Their crazy and fun dancing had cooled, taking them down a step as they moved around a small place in the middle of the floor. Their dance couldn’t have covered more than two or three feet square but Abby could have been totally content with no movement at all. Tom’s body held against her own, their love evident to anyone who cared to look. She felt the rest of the world slip away as she closed her eyes, letting herself fall to Tom’s gentle sway.
Abby smiled, feeling the familiar haze lift as she woke. She curled into the warmth beside her, pulling the thick blanket tighter around her thin body as she slowly blinked open her sleep-filled eyes. Chance, her Golden Retriever, turned a broad head to look at his master.
A cold chill shook her body as Abby came to reality. It was only a dream. Her insides spun, jerking to and fro, twisting and turning, with the realization she had escaped with sleep. Familiar to the sensation now, her eyes burned with the tears she had so recently shed. Everything ached. Her hands shook as she released the blanket to fold over her stomach. Still pressed against the warmth of her dog, Abby curled into herself, pressing her arms harshly into her stomach as if that would keep the pain at bay. Her body grew cold, immune to Chance’s warmth and the weight of the blanket. She couldn’t move; Couldn’t think.
But she had to move. Her mind raced, urging her to get up, telling her ‘Today is the day’.
Today is the day, she agreed, The day my life falls apart.
Sensing a chance in his previously content mistress, Chance turned, laying his furry head over her hip. He sighed, flicking brown eyes at her. But Abby didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes were pressed tightly closed, keeping her nightmare at bay until she could face it. But she wouldn’t be able to face it. Not in ten minutes, not ever. Finally acknowledging this, Abby slowly opened her eyes, staring out into her bedroom. Everything was just as he had left it. The blinds were cracked open, barely enough to let light in, but Abby didn’t dare touch them. His dirty sneakers had been tossed haphazardly by the closet door; She choked out a short laugh, remembering when he had blindly tossed them against the wall, letting them fall wherever. The door to the bathroom was wide open. She could see his blue towel folded beside the sink. His red toothbrush was laying by the faucet, carefully placed in a mirror image of her own on the other side. But today he wouldn’t be opening the blinds. He wouldn’t be coming in from his morning run, tossing his shoes off, stepping out of a steaming shower, reaching for his toothbrush… Today, he would do nothing but lay still. Today, he was an exhibit.
Having finally convinced herself to get up, Abby had taken her shower and gotten dressed. Tom had always liked her black dress. She had told him she looked like a nun but Tom had insisted she was beautiful. He always had. Her hair was pulled back with a firm clip. She hadn’t bothered to dry or style it. No one would dare criticize her today. Not even her aunt. Quinn had met her at her door, taking her hand as he led her to the car. He was a good brother. They had fought, sure, but he knew when Abby needed him. She needed him today.
The parlor was full, cars lined the edge of the street and filled the parking lot. A special guest, Abby had a spot reserved for her near the front doors. Though, she would much rather have had a place far away, or none at all.
Quinn opened her door, patient as she took her time getting out. Her mind crept on at a slow pace, whispering just quietly enough that she could not hear. But she told herself it would be alright. Tom would meet her inside and they would say their goodbyes and leave together. Nothing would be wrong. It was all fine.
People greeted her as she walked in; her mother, father, friends. But the distant look in Abby’s blue eyes told them not to expect much reaction from her. They muttered a brief apology for her loss and continued into the parlor after her. Quinn’s rested at the small of her back, guiding her to the front.
She came to a rest at the foot of the wooden box, her hand cautiously running over the polished mahogany. An old friend, Garrett, stood beside her, his face hidden in his hand as he looked down into the coffin. When he felt the woman beside him, Garrett whispered a soft goodbye and turned to Abby. His arms wrapped around her in a warm hug. But she was immune. Her body stiffened at the touch, eyes intent on the coffin. She could not yet see a face but she was sure that should she continue to move forward she would not like the results.
Her body moved of its own accord, pulling her forward as if drawn to the man in the coffin. Garrett’s arms released her as he stepped to the side, allowing her to pass. She was in a trance as she brushed past him, venturing away from the safety of her brother’s care. Her blue eyes turned down on the pale face.
Without warning, the voice in her head grew louder, the soft whispers reverberating as screams. Her hands flew to the sides of her head, covering her ears in a last ditch effort to tune out what she so desperately wanted to forget. Her eyes snapped closed, salty tears pooling before falling down her cheeks. Her tight lips turned down in a grimace as the news tore at her.
Tom was dead. He was gone.
Eyes closed, face smoothed and pale under a gentle light, suit perfectly straight, arms laying peacefully over his stomach, lips turned in a slight hint of a smile… Tom flashed through Abby’s mind. He wasn’t suppose to look like that. He had bright, green eyes, a wide, toothy grin. His clothes were never perfect, his face was never calm, emotionless. This was not Tom. And somehow, it was.
Abby’s voice rose from her lips, a quiet scream of desperation in the form of a choked sob. Her body shook with her sobs, heaving as she gasped for air. Quinn was beside her in an instant, strong hands leading her to the chairs. He sat her down, pulling her against his chest where her arms folded up in front of her chest, a barrier between herself and the world threatening to tear her apart. Quinn rocked slowly, making quiet noises of comfort to his older sister. He could feel his shirt dampen with her tears but his shirt’s well-being didn’t seem to matter at that point.
Abby shook as her world came crashing down around her. Tom wasn’t coming back. She was alone. He had been her whole world. He had made everything worth while. And now he was gone. Her mind searched frantically as she sought out some reason she should take another breath. Quinn’s quiet murmurs soothed her and as her body quieted, her crying eased, allowing her to breathe again.
“I want to see him again,” she said quietly. Quinn had almost missed it but the slow upward movement of his body told Abby he had heard enough to understand. Holding her close against him, Quinn led his sister again to the front of the room. Onlookers watched in silence as the widow grieved. Though many suffered themselves, each knew it was nothing compared to the woman who had given her all only to see it laying in the coffin beside her husband.
When Quinn stopped, Abby turned her head from his chest, slowly opening her eyes once more to the serene face. She choked back another wave of sobs as she stared at him through watery eyes. She blinked furiously to clear her eyes but it would not work. Ignoring the blurry haze she now saw through, Abby slowly moved away from Quinn, taking the coffin’s edge to support her. She leaned down, a hand stretching to smooth over his face and rest against his chest. At the touch of his skin, Abby felt a corner of her mouth twitch, hoping for a smile, but without his warmth, another tear slid down her face. She closed her eyes again, holding back another flood of the rattling grief.
Meeting her eyes again as she opened them was Tom’s face. Abby took in a breath, trying to calm herself enough to form words. After a minute of her silence, her free hand rose to wipe away the trail of water on her cheek. Her mouth opened and a choked whisper rose.
“Tom… Honey…” She took in another rattled breath and forced herself to continue. “You said you wa--wanted me to go on without… you. H--How can I do that? You were my sun, you gave me life. You were everything to me,” she cried quietly to him. “How am I to live in darkness? I know you’re…you’re watching over me and I can only pray that you will help me be strong. I hope that you will be happy in Heaven. I hear God’s a pretty great guy.” She choked out a laugh, a tiny smile creeping out before quickly receding again. “I just wanted to say that I love you. I always will. You will always be my one and only. I love you so much, Tom. Always and forever, honey.” Abby felt a new trickle of tears at her last word and her eyes squeezed shut, lips trembling as she bent to Tom. She kissed him gently, ignoring the cold chill of his skin.
Rising again, Abby stepped back, letting Quinn’s arms secure her once more.
“Always,” she whispered as Quinn led her back to the chairs. “Always…”
Their song came on; The Chair by George Strait. Tom slowed down, taking Abby gently into his arms. She relaxed against him, feeling his warmth creep into her where their skin touched. She smiled against his chest, her face pressed against the black material at his collar. He sighed and lowered his head to rest his cheek against her brown hair. His arms were around her, gently guiding her to follow his slow steps. Their crazy and fun dancing had cooled, taking them down a step as they moved around a small place in the middle of the floor. Their dance couldn’t have covered more than two or three feet square but Abby could have been totally content with no movement at all. Tom’s body held against her own, their love evident to anyone who cared to look. She felt the rest of the world slip away as she closed her eyes, letting herself fall to Tom’s gentle sway.
Abby smiled, feeling the familiar haze lift as she woke. She curled into the warmth beside her, pulling the thick blanket tighter around her thin body as she slowly blinked open her sleep-filled eyes. Chance, her Golden Retriever, turned a broad head to look at his master.
A cold chill shook her body as Abby came to reality. It was only a dream. Her insides spun, jerking to and fro, twisting and turning, with the realization she had escaped with sleep. Familiar to the sensation now, her eyes burned with the tears she had so recently shed. Everything ached. Her hands shook as she released the blanket to fold over her stomach. Still pressed against the warmth of her dog, Abby curled into herself, pressing her arms harshly into her stomach as if that would keep the pain at bay. Her body grew cold, immune to Chance’s warmth and the weight of the blanket. She couldn’t move; Couldn’t think.
But she had to move. Her mind raced, urging her to get up, telling her ‘Today is the day’.
Today is the day, she agreed, The day my life falls apart.
Sensing a chance in his previously content mistress, Chance turned, laying his furry head over her hip. He sighed, flicking brown eyes at her. But Abby didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes were pressed tightly closed, keeping her nightmare at bay until she could face it. But she wouldn’t be able to face it. Not in ten minutes, not ever. Finally acknowledging this, Abby slowly opened her eyes, staring out into her bedroom. Everything was just as he had left it. The blinds were cracked open, barely enough to let light in, but Abby didn’t dare touch them. His dirty sneakers had been tossed haphazardly by the closet door; She choked out a short laugh, remembering when he had blindly tossed them against the wall, letting them fall wherever. The door to the bathroom was wide open. She could see his blue towel folded beside the sink. His red toothbrush was laying by the faucet, carefully placed in a mirror image of her own on the other side. But today he wouldn’t be opening the blinds. He wouldn’t be coming in from his morning run, tossing his shoes off, stepping out of a steaming shower, reaching for his toothbrush… Today, he would do nothing but lay still. Today, he was an exhibit.
Having finally convinced herself to get up, Abby had taken her shower and gotten dressed. Tom had always liked her black dress. She had told him she looked like a nun but Tom had insisted she was beautiful. He always had. Her hair was pulled back with a firm clip. She hadn’t bothered to dry or style it. No one would dare criticize her today. Not even her aunt. Quinn had met her at her door, taking her hand as he led her to the car. He was a good brother. They had fought, sure, but he knew when Abby needed him. She needed him today.
The parlor was full, cars lined the edge of the street and filled the parking lot. A special guest, Abby had a spot reserved for her near the front doors. Though, she would much rather have had a place far away, or none at all.
Quinn opened her door, patient as she took her time getting out. Her mind crept on at a slow pace, whispering just quietly enough that she could not hear. But she told herself it would be alright. Tom would meet her inside and they would say their goodbyes and leave together. Nothing would be wrong. It was all fine.
People greeted her as she walked in; her mother, father, friends. But the distant look in Abby’s blue eyes told them not to expect much reaction from her. They muttered a brief apology for her loss and continued into the parlor after her. Quinn’s rested at the small of her back, guiding her to the front.
She came to a rest at the foot of the wooden box, her hand cautiously running over the polished mahogany. An old friend, Garrett, stood beside her, his face hidden in his hand as he looked down into the coffin. When he felt the woman beside him, Garrett whispered a soft goodbye and turned to Abby. His arms wrapped around her in a warm hug. But she was immune. Her body stiffened at the touch, eyes intent on the coffin. She could not yet see a face but she was sure that should she continue to move forward she would not like the results.
Her body moved of its own accord, pulling her forward as if drawn to the man in the coffin. Garrett’s arms released her as he stepped to the side, allowing her to pass. She was in a trance as she brushed past him, venturing away from the safety of her brother’s care. Her blue eyes turned down on the pale face.
Without warning, the voice in her head grew louder, the soft whispers reverberating as screams. Her hands flew to the sides of her head, covering her ears in a last ditch effort to tune out what she so desperately wanted to forget. Her eyes snapped closed, salty tears pooling before falling down her cheeks. Her tight lips turned down in a grimace as the news tore at her.
Tom was dead. He was gone.
Eyes closed, face smoothed and pale under a gentle light, suit perfectly straight, arms laying peacefully over his stomach, lips turned in a slight hint of a smile… Tom flashed through Abby’s mind. He wasn’t suppose to look like that. He had bright, green eyes, a wide, toothy grin. His clothes were never perfect, his face was never calm, emotionless. This was not Tom. And somehow, it was.
Abby’s voice rose from her lips, a quiet scream of desperation in the form of a choked sob. Her body shook with her sobs, heaving as she gasped for air. Quinn was beside her in an instant, strong hands leading her to the chairs. He sat her down, pulling her against his chest where her arms folded up in front of her chest, a barrier between herself and the world threatening to tear her apart. Quinn rocked slowly, making quiet noises of comfort to his older sister. He could feel his shirt dampen with her tears but his shirt’s well-being didn’t seem to matter at that point.
Abby shook as her world came crashing down around her. Tom wasn’t coming back. She was alone. He had been her whole world. He had made everything worth while. And now he was gone. Her mind searched frantically as she sought out some reason she should take another breath. Quinn’s quiet murmurs soothed her and as her body quieted, her crying eased, allowing her to breathe again.
“I want to see him again,” she said quietly. Quinn had almost missed it but the slow upward movement of his body told Abby he had heard enough to understand. Holding her close against him, Quinn led his sister again to the front of the room. Onlookers watched in silence as the widow grieved. Though many suffered themselves, each knew it was nothing compared to the woman who had given her all only to see it laying in the coffin beside her husband.
When Quinn stopped, Abby turned her head from his chest, slowly opening her eyes once more to the serene face. She choked back another wave of sobs as she stared at him through watery eyes. She blinked furiously to clear her eyes but it would not work. Ignoring the blurry haze she now saw through, Abby slowly moved away from Quinn, taking the coffin’s edge to support her. She leaned down, a hand stretching to smooth over his face and rest against his chest. At the touch of his skin, Abby felt a corner of her mouth twitch, hoping for a smile, but without his warmth, another tear slid down her face. She closed her eyes again, holding back another flood of the rattling grief.
Meeting her eyes again as she opened them was Tom’s face. Abby took in a breath, trying to calm herself enough to form words. After a minute of her silence, her free hand rose to wipe away the trail of water on her cheek. Her mouth opened and a choked whisper rose.
“Tom… Honey…” She took in another rattled breath and forced herself to continue. “You said you wa--wanted me to go on without… you. H--How can I do that? You were my sun, you gave me life. You were everything to me,” she cried quietly to him. “How am I to live in darkness? I know you’re…you’re watching over me and I can only pray that you will help me be strong. I hope that you will be happy in Heaven. I hear God’s a pretty great guy.” She choked out a laugh, a tiny smile creeping out before quickly receding again. “I just wanted to say that I love you. I always will. You will always be my one and only. I love you so much, Tom. Always and forever, honey.” Abby felt a new trickle of tears at her last word and her eyes squeezed shut, lips trembling as she bent to Tom. She kissed him gently, ignoring the cold chill of his skin.
Rising again, Abby stepped back, letting Quinn’s arms secure her once more.
“Always,” she whispered as Quinn led her back to the chairs. “Always…”